This conversation involves M and T engaging in a somewhat disturbing situation for T. T is muddled up in life experiences and M is trying to enquire from T some information in their conversation that we can see would help in reflecting at the issues T has and give a good solution to help him out. The conversation clearly shows us that despite the odds T faces, there is no denying what education can offer. Even after having lousy results in the institution, T has to learn something to get employment. Therefore, the value of education is important as described by Pain (2008, pp. 5-7). The problems that T faces will not only be solved through quitting learning even if the cost is hard to come by. M is presenting to us the notion that education does not teach us the way to think but rather being conscious enough to make a choice what we give attention to and chose the way of constructing meaning from experience.
T has one such experience and M is helping out to be conscious in her choices as seen in the conversation statement… M: Nice idea! (Quick response then regresses) …But you are only in your first year and next semester is fast approaching! Think you can balance that! Job, games and school? (Counting on my fingers)… By so doing, T is in a position to come up with a meaningful approach in dealing with her problems; dropping games and opting for a job which would help him study comfortably at the institution. M puts a white spot in T’s black wall through reflection. M uses T’s very own proposals of the actions to take in dealing with her problems. M somehow helps T to stand against her attempts to ignore current issues and come out above like a phoenix from the ashes. We can see that T’s experiences in life have helped her to move ahead and become stronger and a better person in coming out to dealing with issues confronting her (Schegloff, 2007, pp. 12-13). From the conversation, we can see that life is education and that life has taught T many things. T has learnt the thing to fight for, which in this case is a job and the things to let go which is games.
M takes a deep thought and good analysis of what T is talking about. For instance he says…. M: mmhhh… What sort of job are you looking for? (Attentively)…. He is giving T time to express herself. He is not quick and making conclusions. He digs deep from her heart and listens to her heart more than what is being expressed facially. There is more to what M can see from the outside apparently. The lack of knowledge cannot be taken a bliss but a curse instead and a plague if T succumbs to the things happening around her (Sidnell, 2010, pp. 6-11). She opens up and states what the matter really is. M explores the experiences of T with questions and the impact of the context on questioning is being realised as the two can reach a consensus at some point. T actually is aware of where she is and the things taking place in her surroundings.
As seen in this conversation, the questions that M uses race through many opening doors for new opinions and even more unearthed or untapped resources which do not need to be physical. We learn from the choices we make on a daily basis as seen in this conversation. T is not ready to take on a restaurant job because she says she has experienced it before. M however, tries to tell T that not all places offer the same experience. He persuades her to consider McDonalds. M is able to translate T’s feelings and tries to let her know that falling is not an issue and the much we stay on the ground is what counts. It may not have been well initially having worked in a restaurant but that does not mean that we are beaten once and we become twice shy. According to Enfield and Stivers (2007, pp. 11-25), an individual who success in the first attempt actually does not know anything but the individual who has failed many times can tell many ways of fixing an issue. With such an approach, M is able to connect his perception with T’s feelings to take her from some point in life to another.
Well in tis conversation, we learn the real value of real learning as it has all to do with simple awareness. There is no good that emerges from living an existence and not comprehending the concept of the plain substance in the surrounding (Pain, 2008, pp. 5-7). T has gotten to some point in life and as she appears to sprint to further in life heading for the finish line, she looks on to see the next turn, or may be over the hill on the way; dismal performance and rent. T apparently has lost sight of the things in front of us and assumes the people in the environment like her parents who are there when required and even when not. M reminds her that her parents can pay for her the rent which she agrees to. M is therefore in a position to know that T had long assumed people who could have helped her. It is like a person committing suicide; it is always thought that such a person died long time ago before they actually lay violent hands on themselves.
M does not set his body and mind on an automatic pilot and with this, he is able to feel T’s pain; he sees the suffering in her outside his own centralized universe. He is not ignorant of anything. Everything in T’s immediate experience as seen in this conversation supports her deep belief that she is the absolute core of the universe. While this could be true in the mind of everyone, the people surrounding us are actually the centre of the universe. Everything must seek to have a balance. The homeostasis process is what brings out this balance in Biology, Newton’s III law of motion in Physics and conservation of matter in Chemistry. Each one of these laws is a natural occurrence existing in the outlying world in which we live and deep inside our individual bodies (Levinson, 1983, pp. 284-370). This is what is known as a “well-adjusted” regulation to the outside stimuli and responding in a suitable way as M does as he thinks concerning the consequences before any reaction to T’s as she speaks.
M balances the conversation knowing that T’s stimuli can cause tension if handled carelessly. M rises above, applies knowledge, whether in a conservative way or not, that does not matter to him, but a way that betters the situation, T and even some encounters he has not experienced at a personal level but are certainly following T. M does not lose sight of the important things in the conversation. He shows some light at the end of the tunnel and reminds T of the wonders that surround her. He says… M: okay, maybe you can ask around. Maybe you can work your way up from the beginning and learn how to make coffee eventually. I mean there’s always a beginning for something!…T: mm…M: I mean if you show that you are keen to learn, they would want to employ you.
In the end T wanted what would be best for her. Getting along with everyone therefore is what can be considered best for T which m worked very well. M has pondered and evaluated this need in T all through the conversation. He provides a number of options to T to make a choice of her own. This could be a challenging moment and at some point would not know why M is making certain proposals (Stivers, 2007, pp. 23-24). At some point, the conversation has some flaws as M talks to T while laughing to himself. He says… M: So you think maybe you should really get a job and stay at your current place? (Chuckling)…M might have struggled with the reason why T was confrontational on the things he was going through. Such laughter would put T down. Well, it makes no sense to put T down when T expects M to be a friend who would provide a valuable thing through respectful and kind treatment. This would have made the conversation difficult at some point (Levinson, 1983, pp. 284-370).
This conversation proves to be difficult especially when M does not realize why T cannot let her parents pay the rent. This conversation therefore confirms a number of beliefs we have ever chased. Stone et al (1999, pp. 20-24) assert that, making a choice of dealing with disagreement is all dependent on inflection. M is confronted with T who shows unfounded aggressive behaviour. Initially, M cannot tell what the real cause is; rent or studies. With such a realization of the problems T is facing, M should not permit aggression to reign and make any scream like when he says… M: oh my, oh my! (Looking away) Why that? Thought you were fairing on well? Any nagging issues? (Straight look into the face of T… eyes widened)…instead, M should have empathetically made an inquiry of the same. For instance by simply asking…what could be the matter or is anything the matter? (in a solemn manner). Of course everybody wants the best in their life. At least there must have been a good reason why things had turned out that way for T.
Now, two things that stood out in the conversation: first, the initial thought that everyone wants the best for his or her life. Each individual is surviving and going about life in a manner that makes sense to everyone. Indeed, nobody is born to brew trouble. Well, this has been a difficult idea for T to have settled in, but it actually makes sense and M tries to understand her the bets way he can. They way several options and ultimately are able to reinforce positive patterns of their conversation and disputing the negative ones. M should have fully understood that T behaved this way because it made sense to her so when she shows irrational actions, there should be something that brings conviction to her that the behaviour is well-founded or right. Learning is thus important and can only be realized through listen from inside out. The facts as they appear in tis conversation are that people are all similar. Therefore, hostility in any conversation is nearly a guaranteed counter-production in any conversation.
In conclusion, whatever it is in a conversation, blame and hostility is never an option. The people involved in a conversation must strike the matter right on the head and if it’s a problem, the victim must bear responsibility for the actions. However, this must show some willingness to avert the situation. Analysing the discrepancies between an identity conversation and a feeling conversation is a very imperative toll in making some good progress. The correct analysis and expression of feelings as well as emotions is paramount to having less difficult but healthy conversations thereof.