Bi-sexual marriages have generated a very sensitive debate and have been faced with formidable opposition from various quarters in the society even by the most socially advanced nations.
Bi-sexual marriages are those marriages that take place between persons who have sexual orientations towards both women and men as opposed to heterosexual marriages. These bisexual relationships are between heterosexual and homosexual relationships because they share in both characteristics. These marriages have created a sensitive matter in the society which has not been fully understood by many people. The society has not embraced the idea leaving those involved to feel segregated by the larger population.
A bisexual individual is an individual with sexual attraction towards both female and male genders. The attraction may be on half basis to each gender where orientation is equal to both sides. However, there are circumstances where the orientation is too much to one side thus giving preference but accepting sex from the other gender as well. There is a sequential bisexual who prefers to have one lover at a time, either a man or a woman. Others are simultaneously bisexual having both male and female lover at the same time. Furthermore, others are transitory bisexuals going through bisexual phase and later settle exclusively on heterosexual or homosexual (Zastrow, 2009). The bisexual marriage is that between two persons who are bisexual.
The attitudes towards bisexual marriages vary from different social communities depending on the demographic makeup as well as the social development of the community. This attitude has been the main reason for the failure of bisexual marriages to be accepted. The younger people hold a favorable attitude as compared to the old. Moreover, women have a more favorable attitude as compared to men concerning bisexual relationships (Steffens, 2010). Thus the general attitude of the bisexual relationship is not favorable which has led to its failed recognition in the society.
The Germans have lead in the favorable attitude towards the bisexual marriages. However, there was a long legal struggle to be accepted in Germany. The laws of several countries do not recognize these marriages which contribute to their bad attitude that the entire systems have towards gays and lesbianism. Many countries sees legalization of these marriages to be impossible just as did the Germans but later in 2001 they passed legislation which allowed bisexual marriages (Steffens, 2010).
The other reason for lack of acceptance of bisexual marriage is because the existing discrimination from the heterosexual communities. The ideology of the heterosexual communities is that they are confused and they do not know exact where they belong. They deviate from the society heterosexual norm and viewed as confused and even traitors. This is because in everyday life and social practices are constrained and precluded (Carl, 1998).
In addition, bisexuality is viewed as not being authentic or legitimate. The bisexual act creates ambiguity in the known certainties of straight, gay and lesbian behaviors. Thus it cannot be identified with any category thus defeating categorization (Carl, 1998). The fact that people cannot clearly separate from the three sexual behaviors makes it more complicated and as such leads to its unacceptable status in the society.
Another reason as to why bisexual marriages are not accepted is because people deny or doubt their existence. According to Carl (1998), bisexual identity is undermined at the instance it is mentioned. Therefore the bisexual relaters face tension before they can even speak of their experiences. Thus the outright denial of the existence of bisexuality has undermined the bisexual identity and making it unacceptable in the society that marriages can actually exist which are bisexual. The only legitimate sexualities are heterosexual and homosexual relationship thus leaving little knowledge on bisexual relationships.
The other factor is the constraint that the social communities has put on the relaters to a point that they keep their feelings to be secret. For instance a bisexual female will not tell her lesbian friends about her attraction to men. On the other hand, she will not tell her heterosexual friends about how attractive were the women (Carl, 1998). As a result of this secrecy, the bisexuality has become difficult to be identified in the society and thus its existence is widely unaccepted. Therefore the relaters are enabled as well as constrained by the surrounding social community at a given time.
Bisexual men live in a world where their bisexual intimate relationships are not recognized either legally or culturally. There is a general opposition of same sex relationship in several communities and as a result those who are married but have bisexual characteristics will avoid disclosure as much as possible so as to avoid the society rejection and discrimination (Poindexter, 2010). There a lot of stigma related issues for the bisexuals in the society from family members, communities and religious organizations. Failure to disclose their sexuality means that the society will continue not to accept their existence.
The other factor that has caused the lack of acceptance of bisexual marriages is the myths associated with gays and lesbianism. The first myth is that people are either homosexual or heterosexual (Zastrow, 2009). However, a fact is that being either heterosexual and homosexual are not mutually exclusive. Therefore it is possible for an individual to have feelings and fantasies about members of the same sex as well as opposite sex. This means that bisexuality is possible to exist and as such their marriages can also exist. Therefore this myth has caused the society not to accept the truth about the existence of bisexual marriages.
The second myth that still causes society not to accept bisexuality is that the homosexuality is universally disapproved of in all cultures. However, some cultures accept and even encourage the same. There are males among Siwans of North America that are expected to engage in homosexual partnerships throughout their lives (Zastrow, 2009). This does not rule out their feelings for female counterparts and as such bisexual relationships are likely to develop. But due to the fact that the society believes that homosexuality is universally disapproved, then they fail to accept the existence of bisexual marriages.
The third myth is that gay men are generally “effeminate” and lesbians are generally “masculine” (Zastrow, 2009). However, the fact is that you cannot distinguish the gays and lesbians from the mannerisms and appearance from the normal heterosexuals. Therefore there is no physical appearance to tell whether an individual is a bisexual either. This has caused people not to accept the existence of the bisexuals imagining that they can see men with physical appearance as women and vice-versa. The fact remains that the bisexuals are normal beings who just happen to have attractive feelings to both sexes but cannot be outwardly expressed and as such people may not be in any position to notice thus their believe that they do not exist.
The other myth is that gays and lesbians are “sick” and with varying personalities from heterosexuals. The fact is that even with the physician projective tests, it is not reliable to identify a gay or lesbian from heterosexual. The characteristics traits are fundamentally similar and the only difference is their sexual feelings. There are some cases where homosexuality was listed as a mental disorder but was later stroked out after a heated controversy from gays and lesbianism (Zastrow, 2009). Thus the people who believe in this myth think that they can notice those who are bisexual by looking at their health status yet they cannot differentiate leading to their lack of acceptance that they do exist.
The other myth propagated is that one partner in a homosexual liaison generally plays the male role whereas the other plays the female role. However, the fact is that they play both roles with the sole aim of arousal just like heterosexuals. In reality homosexuals have divergence just as in heterosexuals. In fact some gays and lesbians are genuinely married to the opposite sex individuals and are frankly bisexual, having sex satisfaction from both male and female partners. These group are usually uncomfortable in the opposite sex marriage but prefer to do so because they need companionship, domestic stability as well as respect (Zastrow, 2009). This is an indication that it is really difficult to know of a bisexual unless they come open. Therefore, the society has failed to accept the bisexual marriages because they are not able to notice these individuals. The resulting effect is that they may be respecting individuals or their close neighbors not knowing that they are bisexual.
The other myth is that men seek out young boys for homosexual child molesting. But the fact is that there is no difference in attraction of men to young boys as heterosexuals are attracted. The worry is always lying on the young men but actually molestations come mostly from heterosexual men who molest young girls (Zastrow, 2009). There are few cases of men molesting young boys thereby making those people who believe in this myth to think that there are no homosexual behaviors and as such end up not accepting the existence of bisexuals as well.
There is also a tendency for the bisexuals to hide themselves because of the isolation that may come at work places if they were to be discovered. Thus they will always hide their true identity and cannot be known and effectively isolating themselves (Paludi, 2009). With this isolation, the people will not be in a position to understand that bisexuality exists and as such will continue to reject the believe assuming that nothing exists. Incidences like this do not allow the employees to understand each other and as a result they will not accept existence of bisexuality among the employees.